Staying in an unhealthy marriage for the kids is the worst decision you will ever make.
In 20 or 30 years, you will look back and come to the realization that was just a bad choice. Now, there are marriages that are worth saving, but it always takes commitment and a lot of hard work. Some marriages are obviously broken beyond repair and no amount of work is going to save it.
But rather than accept that the marriage has failed and move on with your life, some people decide it is in everyone’s best interest to stay in the relationship. This is especially true if there are children involved.
As social creatures, relationships are an important aspect of our lives. Society and biology tell us that we are meant for long-term loving relationships. When we find this, we make the relationship legal and then proceed to have kids. But when things don’t go as planned, there are two ways to go. You can either leave the relationship or make pathetic excuses why you have to stay committed. The Law Offices of Loomis and Greene, your divorce attorney serving Fort Collins, offers bad reasons to stay in a dysfunctional marriage.
You Really Believe They Will Change
If you are in a marriage plagued with unhealthy and destructive habits, it will destroy your ability to be happy. You might have faith that things will change, but if you have already given your spouse the chance to change, it is time for you to move on. If you think this person will suddenly wake up and be a different person, you are failing yourself.
Holding on for hope with no signs of even a small change is going to ruin your chance of happiness.
You Are Afraid of Disappointing Others
When a marriage starts to crumble, some people think about the people who attended the wedding and gave them gifts celebrating the unity. Some people then become overwhelmed with feelings of guilt and disappointment. Some people decide it is better to stay in an unhealthy marriage than to risk disappointing others.
Well, you might save others a little disappointment perhaps, but you risk being unhappy for a very long time. You have to ask yourself if it is worth being a prisoner in a sour relationship. By not being true to yourself, you are doing a great injustice to those who care and support you.
The Alternative isn’t Ideal
The way you might look at it is you can either be in a bad marriage or a divorcee, neither of which seem like ideal situations for you. It is not uncommon for people to look past their unsatisfying relationship because the thought of being single and lonely is just as bad, if not worse.
The truth of the matter is that you have a better shot at being happy if you were to end the marriage.
You Have Invested Too Much
There is much that has been invested in marriage including a house, children and a minivan. It was a lot of work getting to where you and your spouse are right now and really, you don’t want to throw all of that away.
There are studies that have found that couples sometimes stay together if they feel too much time, effort and money has been spent in their shared lives. In fact, their views actually become quite skewed and based on emotions rather than the reality of the situation. In short, these couples are more in love with what they have than with each other.
You have spent the last several years documenting your life and your marriage on social media. There are literally hundreds of posts about to you and your spouse and all of the good times you have together and the cool places you go and the nice things you do for each other. And while this may have been true at some point in the marriage, it no longer applies.
It would be all too embarrassing to end the relationship because so many people believe you are living the dream. It is far easier to remain in an unhealthy marriage.
These are all examples of bad excuses to stay in a bad marriage. Do the right thing and call The Offices of Loomis and Greene today.