Getting a divorce is a very difficult decision to make, but there are times when it is the only healthy option. If you think it is time to get divorced and move along with your life, there are signs you should look for to determine if that is the right choice.
Studies show that couples wait for an average of six years of being unhappy before they decide to get help or to get a divorce. This means there could be years of resentment to overcome. You might decide to address the problems and try to resolve them, but that is not always the right decision.
The only thing worse than having to fix a broken marriage is choosing to end a marriage. Still, it might be in everyone’s best interest. The Law Offices of Loomis and Greene, your divorce lawyers in Loveland, offers signs that it might be time to file for divorce and move on.
When you get into a relationship, you and your partner often value the same things. For example, you might both really be into bible study, sports or have the same liberal views. But over time, this can change.
One partner might suddenly declare themselves agnostic, suddenly dislike sports or decide to vote for republicans. You might even have a situation in which one partner wants a wholesale change in life and decides to move across the country.
Unless you can adapt to these changes and accept them, you are destined for a rough marriage. It might make sense to break things off as soon as possible.
You Live Like Roommates
Maybe you sleep in different rooms or watch separate televisions, you have reached a point where you barely acknowledge each other’s existence.
If you are living separate lives and that isn’t what you want in life, then it is time to make some tough decisions.
Friends and Family Giving You Advice
There will always be at least one friend or family member who thinks your marriage was a mistake, that is to be expected. But if you have multiple family members and friends telling you to bail out, then you might want to listen to them.
Your friends and family are close to you and they only want what is best for you.
You Avoid Your Partner
If you are willing to spend time with people you don’t like just to avoid your partner, things need to change. If you are staying late at work to avoid going home and spending time with your husband or wife, then you need to make some life changes.
Few Positive Interactions
Studies show that healthy couples have a 20 to 1 interaction ratio. That is, for every 20 interactions you have as a couple, 19 of them are good and only one is negative.
Conflicted couples, however, have a ratio of 5 to 1 ratio. If your interactions are getting to be more and more negative, divorce might be on the horizon.
You Never Argue
In a relationship, you are supposed to have arguments. Ignoring conflict and avoiding arguments is very detrimental to a relationship.
While all fights are not productive, it is still a healthy way to resolve a situation. You fight for the relationship. This means that if you don’t fight, you are not fighting for each other.
Winning is Everything
If your conflicts must end with you winning, there is a problem in your relationship. Fighting is a way in which we resolve issues, but you can’t expect to solve anything if you are just out for the win.
Everything Else Comes First
There are times when you must put work or the kids before your spouse, but that should only be temporary. But when work or the kids take over your life, you are leaving your partner in the cold and that isn’t fair for either of you.
They are No Longer Your “Go-To” Person
When you are having a really bad day, you used to seek out your partner for comfort and words of encouragement. That has changed. Now, you seek comfort from friends or other family members.
Your partner should be the first person you go to in a crisis. If not, then you need to take a hard look at yourself and your marriage.
If you have reached an impasse in your marriage, give Loomis and Greene a call.