Making the decision to divorce can be quite a complicated matter. Most divorces happen because there are problems in the marriage that just can’t seem to get resolved. In other words, happily ever after becomes words spoken long ago that now have no meaning.
Many people just accept that there are bad things happening in the marriage and choose to just ignore it. But others start to feel suffocated and are very unhappy in their lives.
But just what are the legitimate causes of divorce? The Law Offices of Loomis and Greene, your lawyers in Loveland, offers good reasons to file for divorce.
Lack of Communication
We tend to get lost in our daily lives. We have careers, children, friends, hobbies, really a lot going on at any given time. Sometimes, we get so caught up in everything that we do, we get to the point where communication with our spouse is almost non-existent.
This is the time in a marriage when people stop telling each other they love them, everything is taken for granted and you reach the sad point of no return.
Of course, the hope is that both parties are willing to see a marriage counselor to try to salvage their marriage. Unfortunately, many times it is just too late.
You are going to be seriously disappointed if you think your spouse is going to remain the handsome, young person you met all those years ago.
When you started dating, he or she was the perfect guy or gal right out of a Hollywood movie. After several years of marriage, you discover that maybe they aren’t aging as well as you thought and that they are a little unorganized. You might even be disappointed because you thought they would get that big job and rake in the dough.
The expectation is often quite higher than reality.
Changes are normal in any marriage. Minor expectations that are never met often go by the wayside and are ignored. However, more important expectations that are never met cannot be as easily ignored and are often fuel for divorce.
You might be a strict disciplinarian who does not tolerate children who misbehave. Your spouse might be the type of parent who basically lets the kids get away with anything and everything.
You cannot let children who break the rules go unpunished. Your spouse is constantly relaxing the rules or letting the children ignore them completely.
These are differences that can be worked out in many instances. But it would certainly take a lot of work and effort put forth by all parties involved.
But if you can’t work through it, then divorce is a viable option.
Addiction is one of the most serious causes of divorce. All too often, drugs or alcohol abuse batters a family beyond repair and divorce is the last and only option.
Addictions can force a person to lie, cheat, steal and be abusive. And even if the person who is abusing drugs or alcohol genuinely wish to get help, it doesn’t always have a happy ending.
If your dreams and aspirations are totally different from your spouse, it might be difficult to make the marriage work.
You may have started the relationship with dreams and aspirations that you both were working towards, but through the years things changed. There should be no surprise that this happens, people change as they grow older.
If these are problems that you cannot work through, then you might wish to file for divorce.
At the beginning of the relationship, your strong love for one another was a strong foundation. It kept you happy through bad times and when things were looking bleak.
Over the years, for whatever reason, your foundation of love as eroded and crumbled away. Things are made worse when problems arise because there is no foundation to lean on.
Perhaps the love has slowly left your relationship and has been replaced with dishonesty and insincerity. Maybe you are now in the marriage just because you have kids or because you aren’t sure how to move on at this point.
If either of you is dishonest to the other, your marriage is bound to develop cracks and it will break at some point.
When you are young and in love, the differences a couple has makes no difference to them. When you are young and in love, you don’t have to bother about each other’s practices and traditions.
But that will definitely change as the marriage progresses.
Once you have been married and become family, these differences could be too much for one or the other to handle.
All it takes is one flirty look from a stranger and you suddenly feel as though you cannot trust your spouse anymore.
Sometimes, people grow insecure and jealous in their marriage and this can make life miserable for both of you. It starts with snooping through their purse or wallet and before you know, you catch your spouse trying to break into your smartphone to check messages.
There are valid reasons for being insecure. But if you don’t have a valid reason for your insecurities and jealousy, you are risking your marriage.
Parents Who Interfere
If your mother-in-law is sticking her nose in your business way too much, it could be grounds for divorce.
At first, a nosy relative can be quite annoying. If nothing changes, it will only get worse and make life miserable.
If you have children from a previous marriage and they do not know how to behave, it could lead to a divorce.
This goes beyond a kid who won’t eat his vegetables or a kid who won’t go to bed when she is told. Some kids are so bad that the spouse just can’t take it and decides to get a divorce.
Problems With Your Ex
It is one thing to stay in touch with an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend, especially if there are kids involved. But it can be a slippery slope to climb and you need to make sure everything is fine in your relationship.
If your spouse decides to take a job as a traveling salesman and is gone three weeks each month, it could lead to problems which can lead to divorce.
With help from smartphones and technology, the time away might not be so bad at first, but years of being away for such long stretches of time can take a toll on any healthy marriage.
Lack of Intimacy
When you first got married, your bed was a popular destination at any time of day. But now, the only time you two are in bed at the same time is when you both are asleep.
Apart from the lack of sex, you two never kiss anymore. In fact, there is very little physical contact at all.
You Have Lost Your Identity
Over the years, you have taken on many roles. It all began as a wife and then you became a mother, aunt, daughter-in-law and the list goes on and on. But as you look back, you notice that you are getting erased and nobody, especially your spouse, recognized you for who you are, only the roles you play.
If you feel you need to file for divorce, contact the Law Offices of Loomis and Greene.